“Go”, this was the command that I heard so clearly that humid summer Sunday morning after hearing about Kindness Outreach for the first time. Quite honestly, I did not feel that any other answer would have been acceptable to my Father except for my internal response to Him, “Yes sir”. During the announcements the Kindness Outreach pastor explained how the car wash would operate. Saturday morning, we would be washing people’s vehicles and then handing them one dollar, instead of the other way around, in order to show God’s love to our community in a simple, practical, and friendly way. Apparently, God wanted us to take part in this fun!
You had better believe that up until the moment that the Kindness Outreach began, the enemy was targeting our family. He was using every excuse, person, situation, and even our own insecurities to try and change our minds about attending. Remembering the command that was asked of our family, we ignored the destructive lies from the enemy.
Saturday morning had arrived.
My husband, Sam and I gathered up all of the dollars we had around the house and Sam made a stop at the bank to exchange a twenty for ones (being our first outreach, we thought that we were supposed to bring the ones, we discovered later that the church generously provided those funds). I headed out to the gym, planning on meeting my husband and our two boys at the church later that morning.
Pulling into the church parking lot, my mind was a spiritual battlefield. The enemy flooded my mind with deceptive untruths. I have never experienced the enemy’s focus being intentionally aimed right at me as strongly as I did during this moment. My thoughts were being overwhelmed with deceit. These trickeries rushed to the forefront of my mind one after another, “You are going to tell people about Jesus? You sin all of the time. You are not like those people. You don’t even belong here. What are you going to say? You are not a good example of what a Christian should act like.” I had never heard thoughts resound so loudly in my head. These thoughts were bitter frigid, so much so that I felt a hollow chill creep among me. I was not sure that I actually could show people God’s abundant love for them. It was true I did sin and fall short daily of the glory of God.
Now friends, I wish I could write in confidence saying that I ended up getting right out of my car, told that rascal to bug off, and marched up to that church ready to share Jesus Christ with the world!
But that would be a lie, and would likely be frowned upon by the Creator I will answer to. The truth is…
I decided to leave. Feeling defeated, I asked God to strengthen me. I was so disappointed in myself. I was a child of God, how could I allow myself to think in this way? I continued to battle with my thoughts. Finally, just as I settled my thoughts and decided to leave, a car pulled up beside me. I slightly turned my head to reveal a courtesy smile as to say, “Hello there, all is well in this car, no battles going on here,” when to my rescue God had sent the people that made me a wife and a mother on this earth. I must confess my initial thought was, “Oh, great, it’s my husband and our boys. There is no way I could leave now. I cannot be a bad example for my children”. Regardless of my initial reaction, God strengthened me in that moment.
I wholeheartedly believe that it took that timing, God’s timing for me to process the attack I was under. I believe He knew exactly what He was doing when he told me to, “Go”. I believe He knew exactly what He was doing when my family showed up right at the very moment I was planning on leaving. I felt apprehensive in my car that day, but we serve a Father that will “…never leave us nor forsake us” Deuteronomy 31:6. When that Father says, “Go”, know that, that is the safest place that we can be.
Today, my husband and I serve every other Saturday at our churches Kindness Outreach. I was attacked by the enemy that day because he did not want God to allow me, nor Sam, or the boys to be used as a tool to show people God’s love for them. We must remember that if we are doing anything that God asks us to do and we have those thoughts, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior, we must throw them out. Those thoughts are from the enemy, and they are lies. Each of you are created carefully and purposefully by God, and he has a plan for you. I was weak that day but I thank God that he is strong and because I have asked him to be the leader of my life he makes me brave enough to share his love with my community.
God has worked in a great way through Kindness Outreaches in our family. He has made my husband and I set our priorities in His order. We know that sharing God’s love with others is what He wants us to do, we are so happy to have the opportunity to do so during outreaches and in our personal life. I thank God continuously for commanding us to, “GO”.